TOP 10 REASONS WHY AGING IS AWESOME

What is awesome about aging? It is certainly not the neck on my skin… or the ache in my knee.  We know the rough aspects of aging, but do we focus enough on the fabulous parts of aging? Let me count the ways!

There is a great freedom in aging

With time, we learn to discern what it important and what is not.  We learn to let go of the small stuff – and most of it is small stuff. Do you remember the “no white shoes before Easter” rule? or “good girls don’t do / say / wear that.”  Or even the stereotypes about women over 45 who “shouldn’t dress sexy” or speak frankly about their sexuality?

With years of forging our own way, we learn that these rules are nothing but suggestions from an outside source.  Who made those rules anyway? I followed the fashion rules of the 80’s and I have a lot of regrettable moments in photos with big shoulder pads, high hair and false nails to prove those outside sources are not always right.

With aging, we learn who we are and how we want to express ourselves outside of the constrains of what a “woman of our age” should be.  I love seeing women embrace their age and rock it in their own style like Diane Keaton, Helen Mirren, Jane Fonda.  Would you tell Diane that big belts and hats are out? Or Helen that she is too old to show off that cleavage?

Embracing our own age means freeing ourselves from the small worries. If you want to wear white shoes in January, go for it! Aging breeds confidence in ourselves and gives us the freedom to be who we truly are – as we have now uncovered who that is!   With this earned confidence, I find…

I don’t judge others so much

With age, we understand that we are all going through something.  When a colleague or a hostess is short or curt with me, I quickly let it go.  I know it most likely doesn’t have anything to do with me. I have learned that offering empathy without explanation often diffuses a situation that I use to find troublesome.  There is a beauty in just letting it go.  The less we judge ourselves, the less we judge others.

We understand and manage my emotions more

With years of experience, we learn to sift through our emotions and identify our triggers. We become the better navigator of our own soul. I find I no longer respond quickly in harsh words but identify what I am feeling and express it honestly. I allow myself to be vulnerable instead of defensive and instinctively know where to spend emotional energy and not waste time on meaningless battles. 

With this confidence, we learn to let go of negative friends or those who suck the energy out of a room.  We learn to avoid the “energy suckers” at social events or even in the grocery store line. I no longer feel the need to be polite, but don’t feel the necessity to be rude. I’ve learned to excuse myself without an explanation.

We learn to indulge our self when we need it

If I want to stay in my pajamas all day, I do it.  If I want to eat ice cream in a warm bath, I will celebrate it.  Sometimes I paint until 4 am and sleep the next day until 2 pm. It is a great liberation!  I indulge myself without explanation.

We ask for what we need

With aging, we understand ourselves on a whole new level and are able to ask for what we need.  I no longer second guess myself but understand that if I need something, just ask. If I need my partner to be more communicative, I ask now.  (This works well in sex too – just sayin’)

We develop an appreciation for simple living

With age, I have found that I do not need all the things I used to long for when I was younger. I had accumulated so many designer jeans, purses, suits, accessories.  When I was moving cross country, I realized I don’t own all this stuff – it owns me. I spent so much time shopping and preserving, organizing, dry cleaning and accessorizing all this stuff.  Was it necessary? Did it make my life richer?  Perhaps at one time in my life it did – but it no longer gives me that pleasure. 

I no longer need dust bags for expensive purses and specialty storage for items I rarely use.  Now I have a closet that is half full and drawers that open easily.  It has been liberating to learn to appreciate what I have and use everything I own.  And it has been enriching to realize I don’t need to own much.

We learn debt free living is true freedom

Carrying debt is such a burden.  Up to my mid 30’s, I was accustomed to running credit card debt and felt responsible by keeping up on the monthly minimum payments. It took years of stress, discipline and sacrificing to break free of that cycle. I have never returned. 

It was a hard lesson to learn but now is tattooed in my mind: freedom is debt free living. Before I purchase anything (and I mean any thing at the grocery store, HomeGoods or on Amazon) I ask “Do I have an immediate need for this? Do I have a place now where this can go? And Can I pay cash for it?” If it is a “yes, yes, yes” than I purchase it and it becomes a part of my life.  If it is a yes – yes – no in any combination, I know it doesn’t contribute to my goal of living simply.

Living simply means connecting to the outdoors

I have found that a deeper connection to nature happens with aging. As we begin to appreciate the seasons and the natural flow of nature, we notice the natural world with a greater intensity. I remember when I had my son and he was in a stroller, he would just marvel at the birds chirping and the geckos scurrying around our yard.  He would stop all play and just watch the activity in awe.  He was so tuned into the natural world without any distractions it was inspiring to me.  I had forgotten to notice all the wonder around us all the time when we are outdoors.

I began to marvel at nature too.  Now it is a habit as I take long walks in the woods or just sit on our deck and watch the bird activity at dusk.  There is a vibrant world constantly at work in nature and I feel privileged to catch glimpses of it throughout my day.  I now garden to be a participant in this natural order and learn to understand how things grow, what attracts butterflies, birds and how to support the living environment. It is a cycle of birth, nurturing, maturity and passing much like our lives.

We spend our time on what matters to us

When time becomes a finite factor as it does with aging, we discriminate how to spend our most precious commodity.  Do I really want to go see another fireworks show?  Or would I rather host the group at home in the day and relax on my deck when they all head out to the crowded event?  We are more aware that our time is limited and we choose carefully where to spend it.

And with more time on earth, we become more interesting.

It is a beautiful thing to age as we have a rich history full of unique stories.  Our lives become a tapestry of experiences with each one cultivating our soul. We have history and tales of our days of adventures – riding motorcycles, traveling Europe, wonderful love affairs, career struggles and personal losses and triumphs.  We have depth, experiences, knowledge and a greater understanding of ourselves.

This time is to be celebrated!

Imagine what you would tell your 18 year old self now. What advice would you give that young girl? What have you learned with age?